he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
