Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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