We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
