Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
