Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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