A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
