Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
