That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
