So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
