The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
