Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
