If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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