wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
