Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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