i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
