I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Omg I joined a choir last night...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
