I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
