I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
