Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
