If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
