thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
