Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
