I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
how can u be prego again
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Can I color on your dick again?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
