he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
