Will you blow on my dice?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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