I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
