Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
