this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
