party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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