you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
