I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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