that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
