Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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