how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You ate ashes out of my bong
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
