i just google imaged poop.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
