I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
