Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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