U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
