I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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