whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
