You work out of a Hotel?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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