i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
