giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
