i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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