If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
