I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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