So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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