Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
