those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
