Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
