He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
