We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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