"it" just moved
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
